2015 was such a whirlwind of activities and not-too-surprising it flew by swiftly on the wings of time. Christmas was also another flurry time which saw me not writing enough and for that you would have to forgive me.

Last week Thursdayor rather last year in December on the 30th, community members of WhataWoman met with Yawa Hansen-Quao over slices of pizza. The conversation centered on communication in relationships. Her opening statement on ‘Love Yourself’ struck me deeply. Why? Because many at times, as women we don’t realize how much we don’t love ourselves but focus so much on loving other people first.

I never realized this myself until some years ago. I look back now and realize how I helped myself to be who I am now by taking some key decisions back then. I didn’t realize I didn’t love myself as I was supposed to love my neighbor. I wasn’t taking time to know who I really was, what my passions were, who I needed in my life, what friendships to invest in etc. I was too busy focusing on getting a man in my life once one relationship was over, too busy trying to please others.

I realized this fact early in 2009 and proceeded to make some changes. Little did I know that these changes will lead me towards living a more fulfilled life which led to such an emotional and mental positive change and of course attracting the right man into my life.

I hope these honest heart-yielding tips will help you to make some personal changes for 2016 which will set you towards your passions & destiny.

Loving yourself doesn’t mean you are selfish. It simply means you know how to be you without reliance on others to be happy. It means; you don’t wait for others to make you happy, you know how to spend quality time alone enjoying a hobby or a pastime, you are happy & comfortable in your skin and how you look.

1. Rediscover Your Passion

There’s always that one thing which you don’t mind waking up at dawn to do. Whether it’s baking scones, writing a short Children’s story or painting still life. You need to go back to it if you somehow abandoned it along the way. I went back to my love of writing which life had almost made me forget about. Rediscovering your passion ignites an inner joy within you which lights up your face every time you focus on it. I never knew this myself till some friends mentioned this. That’s what fulfillment does. Find that passion no matter how small it may seem and fan those flames to bring it to life. That light attracts people to you. Getting busy with your passion attracts purposeful men who love purposeful women to you. Men who love a woman doing something for herself will be drawn to your light like a moth to a flame.

2. Spend quality time with yourself

This should be a time of reflection, relaxation and rest. Are you unable to spend time with yourself unless with friends? It makes you too clingy and over-reliant on people.

Go watch a movie by yourself as a way of spending time with yourself. I remember how I would go to the cinema to catch an evening movie at SilverBird Cinema after work. It was such an interesting time where I could relax and laugh with and at myself. Friends obviously found it very strange. ‘How can you go watch a movie by yourself?’ they would ask.

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Spend a weekend out of the noisy city at a beach resort. My favorite place of seclusion is Busua Beach Inn. Quiet, relaxing and great food on a great budget. Time spent away gives you more time to think through. Take a little notebook with you to jot down some goals. You can even make it an Internet-free period.

Have dinner for one. Because why not? It’s not everyday that you will eat homemade food. Spoil yourself after-all you are working hard and getting paid for it. Many restaurants like LaChaumiere & LeMust offer serene ambiance with fantastic food offerings, book a table already. Explore other cuisines to expand your palate. You can schedule a time for having dinner for one. It can be quarterly or once a month. Not only will you be more adventurous with food but it will definitely give you much to talk about when you meet a new man who will marvel at your knowledge of other world cuisines. A great conversation starter!

3. Write it out.

What do you love about yourself? Write it out. Know your strengths and blossom them. Don’t hate your weaknesses. Just appreciate their uniqueness from your strengths. You may hate having a funny-shaped nose but you have great lips and teeth so why not smile more often? Being so focused on your weakness can lead to insecurity. Insecurity is not attractive. It makes you sullen & timid. Be confident about your strengths, as they would eventually overshadow your weak areas to make you a more attractive approachable woman. Growing your strengths makes you a beautiful woman inside and out.

There are so many ways to love yourself more. By loving yourself, you can then be more loving to others. As you get to know and love yourself, it attracts the right man your way; the sort of man who appreciates a woman who is beautiful on the inside not just the outside. When you love yourself it doesn’t make you desperate. It rather draws others to your light of love. If you want to be in a serious love relationship then you need to take these tips seriously. The year just started, so get started.

In what ways do you love yourself to make you a more confident woman? Do share in the comments below for a more rich empowering conversation.